Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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