Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we're making bets on your personal life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
