Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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