i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
