Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
