Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
