You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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