im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
