He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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