shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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