there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
