sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
