Its about making memories worth repressing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize