We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
