i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
