Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
