Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
