Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
