i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
