At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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