white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
