WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
