My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
do nipples grow back?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
