wanna go halves on a baby?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
