You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
