What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
