Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
