so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
