apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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