i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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