Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
