I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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