I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
