drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
