Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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