hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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