im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
