can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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