and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
