Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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