I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
