Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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