i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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