Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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