my vag is so smooth its legendary
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
