U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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