i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
