Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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