It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
