i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
