I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
