Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
