I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
