textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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