i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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