we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
