Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
